Heyt. hate - "hate") means unfavourable, depreciating, disparaging and hateful content about someone. School heckling is a serious problem that should not be underestimated. It often occurs online, but it can also occur face-to-face - 'face to face'. Sounds awful, doesn't it? And when you add the fact that children often don't understand that someone is hurting them because they themselves have problems, and believe everything they hear about themselves - misery is ready.
"I 'hejt' you!"
Children's hysteria is a problem that is becoming increasingly common. It can occur in a variety of contexts - at school, in the courtyard and online. Each of these areas has specific characteristics and consequences that can significantly affect a child's emotional and social development. If you want to protect your child, start taking action now - find out what you can do.
Sources of hate speech
There are many reasons for this form of communication. These may include. low the child's self-esteem, the emotional difficulties of the healer, a manifestation of his jealousy or his desire to gain recognition in the group.
Cyberbullying
The internet creates ideal conditions for the development of hate speech. The person doing the hexing feels anonymous, which makes them more likely to offend and exclude others. Even if she does not remain anonymous, the semblance of 'being online', i.e. in a less real space, results in a lack of inhibition in her actions. Without seeing with her own eyes the suffering she causes, she can become more aggressive and ruthless. Cyberbullying is one of the most serious challenges of the digital age.
Social media not only allows hateful content to be published, but also allows others to be excluded, e.g. by being removed from shared chat rooms and groups, and posting compromising videos or photos. For a young person, such exclusion is the proverbial 'end of the world'.
"Face to face"
Hate at school or in the courtyard often takes the form of ridicule, embarrassment, isolation or spreading rumours. It can also manifest as social pressure, when children feel compelled to act in accordance with the expectations of the group. Exclusion mechanisms lead to small 'cliques' that isolate other children. This kind of rejection can be as painful as direct verbal violence.
The effects of hate speech
Hate can lead to serious mental problems in the person who experiences it. Adolescence is a time when a young person feels very strongly about any evaluation of his or her person, even a minor one. It is also a time when he or she has a strong need to belong to a peer group. If these needs are not met and, in addition, the child is confronted with heckling, it can have disastrous consequences.
Children and young people experiencing heckling often feel isolated. This results in a decrease in self-esteem and motivation for learning and other activities. The consequences of attacks can be long-term.
As a result of the hate speech, teenagers and children may find it difficult to form healthy relationships. They are also more likely to experience depression, anxiety disorders and other emotional problems.
Is my child a victim of hate speech?
Despite their closeness to their carers, a young person may be hiding the fact that they are experiencing bullying. It is important for parents and teachers to be alert to signs that suggest something wrong is happening.
Observing your child's behaviour can help you spot changes - such as withdrawal, sadness or aggression. Regular conversations can also be helpful, but should not feel like an exam. Encourage your child to share their feelings and experiences, but don't barrage them with questions. Remember that for your child to want to confide in you, he or she must trust you and feel the need to do so. If you don't talk to them about your emotions yourself, don't expect them to feel like talking in a difficult situation.
How to deal with hate speech?
- Reporting - Inappropriate content can be reported on social media platforms.
- Police - If the hate speech is of a criminal nature (e.g. threats, defamation), it is worth reporting the matter to the police. It is a good idea to secure evidence, e.g. through screenshots.
- Cooperation with the school - Teachers and management should respond to reports and support the child.
- Psychological assistance - If the experience of hate speech affects your emotions and mental health, a good choice would be to psychologist for a teenager or child.
Hate at school - school psychologist on the front line of the fight
School heckling is not just about aggressive comments or exclusion from the group - it is a problem that can leave a permanent mark on a child's psyche. The first person who can notice worrying signs is school psychologist. She sees students every day, observes their behaviour, relationships and emotions and is therefore able to react quickly and direct help where it is needed most.
Signals that others may not see
Before the heckling becomes visible to parents and before a student decides to tell a teacher about his or her problems, the school psychologist can spot the first symptoms - withdrawal, changes in behaviour, reluctance to go to school child. It has a key role in prevention and early response.
Through prompt response and preventive action, the school psychologist can make a real difference to the school atmosphere, increasing the sense of safety and support among pupils. The school psychologist is on the front line in the fight against bullying - before the problem grows to serious proportions. He or she will support parents, advise them on how to talk to their child and when it is appropriate to seek the help of a therapist or send the child to group activities, such as 'parenting classes'. TUS. In Warsaw we invite you to Kids Medic. Our facilities are prepared for children and young people experiencing cyber-bullying and hate speech. Social skills training is one of the forms of support available.
If parents notice that their child behaves differently than usual - has become more withdrawn, avoids talking about school or clearly does not want to go to school - it is worth consulting a school psychologist. He or she can help discover the source of the problem, look at the child's relationships with peers and identify the best solutions. Sometimes it is already discussion with a psychologist allows the cause of the difficulty to be found and prevents the problem from escalating.
What if it's my child who is the healer?
Sometimes it turns out that our child is the perpetrator of the heckling. In such situations, it is important not to react with punishment alone, but to try to understand why it happened. Often, children who hector others have emotional problems themselves, low self-esteem or need acceptance in a group. Working with them should be about teaching them empathy, understanding the consequences of their actions and building healthy relationships with their peers.
Support and resilience building
In experiencing various difficulties during adolescence, it is crucial to support children in building mental resilience, empathy and healthy relationships. Help is also often needed for perpetrators of hate speech, as their behaviour may stem from emotional difficulties. There are support groups for children and young people affected by hate speech. Sometimes it is easier for them to open up in the company of people who have lived through similar experiences.
It is worthwhile for a harmed child to see that they are not alone.
Dear parent - be present.
Be attentive.
Be nearby.
Be a rock, and let your arms be a refuge for your child - no matter how old they are or how much the world is crashing in on them.
Kids Medic offers support for children, parents and perpetrators of hate speech:
- Psychological consultation - Specialist support in understanding the problem and its impact.
- Individual therapy - Help for children with low self-esteem or emotional problems.
- Group activities, e.g. Social skills training (TUS) - Learning to build healthy relationships and deal with difficult situations.
Sylwia Hojda
Child and Adolescent Psychologist
