Self-esteem in a child is a key element of everyone's mental health and happiness. In this article, we will answer the questions of what self-esteem is, why it plays such an important role in life and what we, as parents, can do to help our children build healthy self-esteem.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the way we perceive ourselves - how we think about ourselves, how we speak to ourselves in our thoughts and the emotions we feel towards ourselves. Individuals with healthy self-esteem:
▪ They accept themselves and their faults,
▪ They believe in their abilities,
▪ They can make decisions and take responsibility for their actions,
▪ Have positive relationships with other people.
Every child is born with high self-esteem. Surely you have noticed that your little ones are proud of the artwork they have done or the skills they have learned and are eager to show off their achievements. They accept their appearance and personality without resistance. However, over time, their self-esteem changes. Negative words, critical comments or comparisons with others can have a destructive effect on how shy child perceives itself.
Why is a sense of value crucial?
Healthy self-esteem helps children to develop mental resilience, build relationships and take on challenges. In contrast, low self-esteem can lead to:
▪ learning and working difficulties,
▪ Problems in social relations,
▪ low self-confidence and fears,
▪ greater susceptibility to depression and other emotional problems.
Scientific confirmation
Research from Stanford University (2019) shows that children supported by their parents in building self-esteem perform better academically and socially. Supporting their sense of worth also helps them cope with stress and increases self-confidence children.
Furthermore, research from Harvard University (2020) has shown that children raised in an atmosphere of love, acceptance and support are less likely to face depression and emotional problems in adulthood.
The impact of technology on a child's lack of self-esteem
Technological developments bring new challenges to children's self-esteem. Social media often promotes unrealistic standards of beauty and success, leading to comparisons with others.
Filters on pictures, perfect bodies or idealised lifestyles can lower the self-esteem of children, who do not always realise that it is only a creation and not reality. Children who spend a lot of time in front of a screen are more likely to feel frustrated because they cannot live up to unrealistic role models. Research by Stanford (2020) has shown that excessive use of technology increases the risk of depression and mental health problems. It is therefore crucial that parents talk to their children about what they see in the media and help them understand that what is portrayed online often does not reflect reality.
How to foster a child's self-esteem?
Dear Parent, you need to know that you play a key role in building your children's sense of worth. Here are some ways that can help you do this:
1. Praise and appreciation
Praise your child not only for achievements, but also for effort and endeavour. Even small successes, such as completing homework or helping around the house, can be an opportunity to strengthening the child's self-esteem. After all, not every challenge has to end in a win, it's the will and the fight that counts.
2. Encouraging the development of passions
Help your child discover their interests and develop their talents. A child who has a passion feels more confident and special.
3. Conversations and emotional support
Regular conversations with your child help him to understand that his feelings and thoughts are important. Listen carefully and show interest in his/her problems.
4. Safe home environment
Create an atmosphere of love and acceptance. A child who feels loved and accepted develops a healthy self-esteem.
5. Limiting time in front of the screen
Ensure a balance between time spent in front of the computer and real activities such as sports, walking or meeting peers.
6. Encouraging to overcome difficulties
Help your child understand that failures are part of life and an opportunity to learn. Support them in learning lessons and striving to improve.
When is it worth seeing a specialist?
If you notice that your child has serious difficulties with self-acceptance, low self-esteem or is avoiding contact with peers, it is worth consulting a child psychologist.
The specialist will help to understand the problem and suggest appropriate actions, such as social skills training (TUS)which are very effective in improving self-esteem.
Strengthening the child's self-esteem
Lack of self-esteem in children can have a significant impact on adult life. Including professional and social futures. Without healthy self-esteem, it is difficult to build relationships and achieve happiness in adulthood.
As parents, there is much we can do to help our children develop self-esteem. Let's take the time to talk, show support and love, and teach children to accept themselves as they are. This is an investment that will pay off in the future - a child full of confidence and healthy self-esteem will be ready to face life's challenges and enjoy life. Do you have any questions? Contact us.
Urszula Wierzbicka
Psychologist
