You are tired of hearing that your the child displays aggressive behaviourDoes your child do things like hitting, pushing, pinching or biting other children? Or is he also directing his aggression in your direction? Everyone expects you to take action to remedy the situation. In the meantime, the child's eyes are looking at you, hoping that you will help him to understand and control his emotions. Because one thing is certain: the child does not want to behave like that, he does not want to be "the bad guy". Aggression in children, causes and how to deal with the problem, is a topic we will take a look at in this article!
More often than not, the child attacks because he doesn't know how else to resolve the situation, and very quickly regrets his behaviour. He or she feels guilty, knows that he or she has let you down and that he or she has acted wrongly. The victim is not only the person attacked, but also the aggressor. The child is a victim of his emotionswhich are bubbling up inside him and dominating him. How do you get out of this trap? How do you help your child?
Aggression in school and kindergarten
Aggression among children and adolescents is a phenomenon of growing concern for parents, teachers and education and parenting professionals. It occurs in schools, nurseries and crèches alike, and its forms can include physical violence, verbal, emotional or cyberbullying. Let's take a look at the causes of aggression in educational establishments, its effects and methods of counteracting it.
Causes of aggression in children
Social and family factors:
Children growing up in families where the dominant conflicts, violence or emotional instabilityare more likely to develop aggressive behaviour. Lack of adequate emotional support, positive role models and lack of parental interest can lead to frustration and aggression.
Peer influence:
The peer group has a huge influence on children's behaviour. Aggressive attitudes can be reinforced by other pupils who reward such behaviour, or by participation in groups where violence is condoned or promoted.
Mass media:
The media, including computer games, films and television programmes that promote violence, can influence children's perceptions of aggression as a normal or acceptable form of emotional expression or conflict resolution.
Emotional and psychological problems:
Children with emotional problems, such as anxiety, depression or behavioural disorders, are more likely to express frustration in aggressive ways. They are often unable to communicate their feelings effectively, which can lead to outbursts of anger in children.
School and pre-school environment:
The atmosphere in a school or kindergarten can also influence the level of aggression. Lack of clear rules, teachers' inappropriate approach to pupils' problems, lack of emotional support and too many children in groups are just some of the factors that contribute to the emergence of aggression in children.
What can be the consequences of aggression?
Aggression in school and kindergarten can have serious consequences for both children who are victims of aggression and those who display it.
Victims of aggression often experience anxiety, stress and, in extreme cases, may experience symptoms of trauma. This can lead to impaired academic performance, social withdrawal and even depression.
Perpetrators of aggression may find it difficult to establish healthy relationships. Their behaviour may escalate and lead to more serious problems in the future, such as conflicts in their private and professional lives, as well as lack of dialogue skills. The whole school or pre-school community suffers from a sense of insecurity and mistrust, which can negatively affect the educational atmosphere and morale.
What are the ways to deal with aggression in a child?
Emotional education:
The introduction of programmes that teach children to recognise and express their emotions, dealing with frustration and resolving conflicts in a constructive manner.
Classes may include relaxation techniques, empathy exercises and social skills training.
Cooperation with parents:
It is extremely important to involve parents in the process of counteracting aggression. Organising workshops, meetings and consultations for parents can help them better understand their children's emotional needs and teach them effective parenting strategies.
Adaptation of the school environment:
Ensure a safe and supportive learning environment by clearly defining the rules and anti-aggression procedures. Schools and kindergartens should also ensure that there are enough teachers and supervisors to effectively monitor children's behaviour. Committed and empathetic teachers, in partnership with parents, are extremely powerful.
Specialist intervention:
In some cases it may be necessary to intervention by a psychologist, educationalist or therapist. Individual or group therapy can help both child victims and perpetrators of aggression to cope with emotional and social difficulties. Don't be afraid of specialist help - it often gives good and quick results.
It is also a good idea to Aggression Replacement Trainingwhere aggressive behaviour is worked on in a group or individually. When I run such classes, I see the children evolve during them and these classes are becoming more and more popular because of their effectiveness.
Aggression in children - a multifaceted problem
Aggression in schools and kindergartens is a complex problem, requiring the involvement of many parties - from teachers and parents to the students themselves and educational institutions. Effective strategies to counter aggression should be based on emotional education, cooperation with parents, appropriate adaptation of the school environment and specialist support. In this way, it is possible to create a safe and supportive educational setting where every child has the opportunity for healthy development and learning.
One effective way to educate about emotions and aggression is to Aggression Replacement Training. The child learns to recognise and control his or her own emotions and to turn aggression into pro-social behaviour.
The most important thing is your contact with your child
Your child should feel that he can trust you, that he can tell you everything and that he has your support. However, he or she also needs to know the boundaries that you must set for him or her. Your the child needs to know and understand why boundaries are set in specific placeswhy they cannot be crossed and what the consequences will be if he crosses them. He also needs to know that he will not escape the consequences, no matter how pleading he looks at you.
Every situation can be resolved with respect for the other person. If your child doesn't know how, you are the person who will help them find a solution. Only in this way will you give your child great power - equipping him with the tools to deal with the problems he is bound to encounter in life. Will he run away from them? Will he solve them with violence? Or with wise dialogue? This largely depends on you and the example you set for him.
Paulina Wisniewska
child psychologist
TUS trainer , TZA trainer
