How do you prepare your child for the arrival of a sibling?

We are often asked: how do we prepare a child for the arrival of a new family member?

To begin with, it is worth realising that a child, when finding out about a sibling, often says: "I'm glad I'm going to have a brother because I'll have someone to play with", meanwhile a newborn baby is born and you have to wait another 2 or even 3 years to play together....

Big brother or sister - a very important role

Here are some useful tips on how we parents can help our older child prepare for the role of big brother or sister:

• show pictures and videos of your son or daughter's infancy and tell what proud and happy parents you were then,
• when the younger sibling is still in the tummy, make the older sibling aware that he or she will be a baby who will sleep and cry most of the time, and that playing together will have to wait,
• devote time alone to, alone to a game/play invented by the child that he/she finds rewarding - and importantly - maintain this ritual after the baby arrives,
• if the baby only falls asleep in the company of the mother, try to change this a few months before the birth so that when the mother is in hospital, the baby does not suffer,
• Similarly, it can be the case that the mother will put the infant to sleep, the older child can sometimes fall asleep with the dad, but it is important that the mother is also equally available to the older child,
• When buying a new cot for a baby, make sure the older one gets an equally cool item,
• choose a present to give to the baby when he arrives home - and the other way round ☺
• involve the child in helping with the baby - bathing, giving nappies, older children can help with dressing etc.

Shaping values right from the start

A child who is most likely to give way, who is allowed to do most things, finds it more difficult to come to terms with the fact that someone is appearing who is taking up a large part of the parents' time. Therefore, form relationships, the values of cooperation, sharing, talking about difficult things and emotions - then it will be easier for the child to get used to a new and unusual situation. Sibling jealousy is a natural process, but it can be mitigated with the right approach.

Mum or dad? Who is more important?

We should remember that a baby needs both mum and dad. It is common practice after the arrival of a toddler in the family for dad to take charge of the older child and mum to take charge of the baby. Be warned: this situation may not be good in the long run. Ask yourself, which child needs mum more? Is it definitely the baby? If the dad is cuddling, carrying and kissing the infant will his need for love and closeness not be met? Won't a child who is one, two, or a few years old feel sadness or anxiety seeing that mum is spending time with the new family member rather than with him? Well, each child needs both parents.

Remember, dear mothers, that in this beautiful but also difficult time of starting out with a baby at home, we should not forget about time with the older child. It is important to set aside at least some time ONLY for the older child. It can be a walk, a game, a trip, shopping... It is important that it is just the two of you, even if it is only half an hour, for the child it will be a very important time alone with mum 🙂 He will not feel rejected and therefore his attitude towards his little sister or brother will be positive.

And finally, the hardest part...

try to remember, dear parents, that every member of the family is important. Of course, everything revolves around the children, but there are also you. And even though it can be difficult to find the time and strength for moments of pleasure for yourself in the daily hustle and bustle, it is worth trying. Happy parents mean happy children ... and after all, that is what we fight for the most, the happiness of our children!